I am apologizing for all the rude and hurtful followers you have to deal with. It shouldn’t be necessary for you to remind people how to behave. Sadly, this is the world we live in. Thank you for doing a deep dive and reminding us of the small and large gestures we should be doing to make this crazy world a bit kinder. Thank you for always taking the high road… maybe others will catch on.
Heather, firstly I think you’re courageous for building a career while being viciously attacked. I’m sorry it took the literal passing of a bully for you to feel free. That’s beyond what anyone should cope with.
‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game’ is so true.
Lots of people have started Substacks for varying reasons but I think it’s the gamification of the app that drives a lot of nonsense.
Manners and etiquette are not only free, they’re also the most stylish accessory one can own.
This post brought back memories of my old neighborhood (your current!) and how much I miss those daily interactions that made the city feel more like a small town. I especially miss the bodega where I would pick up British Vogue, etc and how sweet Kevin (?) always was, even when he had a line out the door for lottery tickets. As for the Substack bullies, it’s all so sad. If the most creative and talented writers, creators, influencers, etc join Substack, that will attract more readers to the platform and should be viewed as a positive. A rising tide lifting all boats. I want Substack to become part of my morning routine and I’ve discovered new accounts since you joined. Xx
Miss having you in the neighborhood! It feels like a very strange time right now with the infighting. I really wasn't expecting it but I hope it ends soon.
I liked this the first time I read it on your OG blog and I like it again now! Well done. A person who has good manners makes others comfortable and there is really no more important skill set / personality trait than that.
I loved so many aspects of this post. Thank you for writing it!
One of the best parts of living in France is just as you said it—there’s a basic social etiquette here that’s rooted in acknowledging the humanness and existence of other people. I wish the internet was the same way. Imagine people writing this in every comment: “Hello! Thanks for everything you do! Have a nice day, goodbye!” Substack feels like it has some of this kind spirit/manners and for that, I adore this platform!
I've started to realize that people in the US are very self focused while those in France and most all of Europe are still focused on others and community. The community feeling that I. hope gets back to normal after the recent viral post that got everyone riled up.
Thank you for this. Good manners are not hard to practice! A smile, or kind word does as much for us as for those with whom we interact. And in terms of social media, I will never understand why people can't scroll past, unsubscribe, unfollow, ignore, or just move on from things they don't agree with. Life's too short!
oh how I wish more people would’ve read this list! it should be included in the school program for good measure :)
I also feel like the common rules of courtesy are often overlooked when dealing with delivery people and I love that you empathised on that. and thank you for reposting the list, it feels like we need it much more than ever…
And I will add, I am guilty of the phone at the check out counter example. I always make sure to make eye contact, smile and say “hello” but going forward, I really need to just end my phone conversation. A very good point taken!
This is a very powerful statement "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". . Maybe we can turn some of this negative, hateful energy around - won't be easy but I'm going to make an effort to choose joy and kindness every day. Thank you Heather for making us all think about being better, kinder people.
These are new to me. I love the rules. Thanks for sharing. Hate that people are rude and worse to you. There is no privilege for one to bully and hate.
I want you to know that because of you I have been more aware of this one: Carry cash and tip generously. Most often one never sees the gratitude but recently a hotel maid came out of the room to thank me as I waited at the elevator. Her face said it all. Thank you for helping me see that travel is a privilege I share with those who serve.
“Envy can be a powerful tool that can fuel your own ambitions if you use it correctly”~ This is so true! I find myself “envious” at times but Ive always used it to try and emulate and learn. Great haircut? Maybe i can give it a go? Beautiful gallery wall? Maybe i can find some items in my local antique store? Gorgeous physique? It’s time i worked out more. Envy as inspiration vs resentment is the way to go. ❤️
I am apologizing for all the rude and hurtful followers you have to deal with. It shouldn’t be necessary for you to remind people how to behave. Sadly, this is the world we live in. Thank you for doing a deep dive and reminding us of the small and large gestures we should be doing to make this crazy world a bit kinder. Thank you for always taking the high road… maybe others will catch on.
Heather, firstly I think you’re courageous for building a career while being viciously attacked. I’m sorry it took the literal passing of a bully for you to feel free. That’s beyond what anyone should cope with.
‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game’ is so true.
Lots of people have started Substacks for varying reasons but I think it’s the gamification of the app that drives a lot of nonsense.
Manners and etiquette are not only free, they’re also the most stylish accessory one can own.
X
Always shocking to me that people can be awful. As my mother used to say “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Well, we all know the rest;-)
Social media means everyone feels compelled to say everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
My mother said the same, good old Bambi ♥️
That's a rule I try to live by, I think on any sort of social media if you wouldn't say it to the person face to face then don't say it!
Thank you. This was definitely worth reposting; I haven't read it before and it's excellent.
I'm so happy you think so. Thank you!
This post brought back memories of my old neighborhood (your current!) and how much I miss those daily interactions that made the city feel more like a small town. I especially miss the bodega where I would pick up British Vogue, etc and how sweet Kevin (?) always was, even when he had a line out the door for lottery tickets. As for the Substack bullies, it’s all so sad. If the most creative and talented writers, creators, influencers, etc join Substack, that will attract more readers to the platform and should be viewed as a positive. A rising tide lifting all boats. I want Substack to become part of my morning routine and I’ve discovered new accounts since you joined. Xx
Miss having you in the neighborhood! It feels like a very strange time right now with the infighting. I really wasn't expecting it but I hope it ends soon.
I hope so too!! ❤️❤️❤️
I liked this the first time I read it on your OG blog and I like it again now! Well done. A person who has good manners makes others comfortable and there is really no more important skill set / personality trait than that.
It's such a dying art that I honestly think they should start teaching manners in school.
I’m a just retired teacher and I’ve been saying the same thing. Unfortunately, manners class should be taught to the parents too.
I loved so many aspects of this post. Thank you for writing it!
One of the best parts of living in France is just as you said it—there’s a basic social etiquette here that’s rooted in acknowledging the humanness and existence of other people. I wish the internet was the same way. Imagine people writing this in every comment: “Hello! Thanks for everything you do! Have a nice day, goodbye!” Substack feels like it has some of this kind spirit/manners and for that, I adore this platform!
I've started to realize that people in the US are very self focused while those in France and most all of Europe are still focused on others and community. The community feeling that I. hope gets back to normal after the recent viral post that got everyone riled up.
Thank you for this. Good manners are not hard to practice! A smile, or kind word does as much for us as for those with whom we interact. And in terms of social media, I will never understand why people can't scroll past, unsubscribe, unfollow, ignore, or just move on from things they don't agree with. Life's too short!
oh how I wish more people would’ve read this list! it should be included in the school program for good measure :)
I also feel like the common rules of courtesy are often overlooked when dealing with delivery people and I love that you empathised on that. and thank you for reposting the list, it feels like we need it much more than ever…
And I will add, I am guilty of the phone at the check out counter example. I always make sure to make eye contact, smile and say “hello” but going forward, I really need to just end my phone conversation. A very good point taken!
Glad you did repost. Thank you
Thank you!
This is a very powerful statement "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". . Maybe we can turn some of this negative, hateful energy around - won't be easy but I'm going to make an effort to choose joy and kindness every day. Thank you Heather for making us all think about being better, kinder people.
These are new to me. I love the rules. Thanks for sharing. Hate that people are rude and worse to you. There is no privilege for one to bully and hate.
I want you to know that because of you I have been more aware of this one: Carry cash and tip generously. Most often one never sees the gratitude but recently a hotel maid came out of the room to thank me as I waited at the elevator. Her face said it all. Thank you for helping me see that travel is a privilege I share with those who serve.
I always think how $20 or even $100 is not going to break me but just might make someone' else's day. It's a good feeling.
Yes you’re right. Thank you Florida making a difference for those without a voice.
“Envy can be a powerful tool that can fuel your own ambitions if you use it correctly”~ This is so true! I find myself “envious” at times but Ive always used it to try and emulate and learn. Great haircut? Maybe i can give it a go? Beautiful gallery wall? Maybe i can find some items in my local antique store? Gorgeous physique? It’s time i worked out more. Envy as inspiration vs resentment is the way to go. ❤️
Lovely article, I found myself nodding the whole time- I often wonder what has happened to people, manners seem like a lost art!
I really appreciate you, your point of view, and this post. 🤍🤍